Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lesson 5 - "I am never upset for the reason I think" --Robert

Although I have not spent much time with this lesson, initially I have found this lesson more difficult. Specifically because the text challenges us with a variety of forms of this idea, such as:

I am not angry at ___ for the reason I think.
I am not afraid of ___ for the reason I think.


There are no small upsets.
They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind.


When acting out of bias - applying to one disturbance, and avoiding others, use:

I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go.
For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same.


And finally:

I am not worried about ___ for the reason I think.
I am not depressed about ___ for the reason I think.


Like everyone else, like the most enlightened masters, we all have our stuff to deal with down here. There will always be someone who will challenge our ideas of forgiveness, and abundance, or what we percieve as "right living." I had a situation over the weekend where a particularly anti-social friend of mine was invited to my birthday, and as usual - was a pillar of anti-socialism. Not only that - after 20 years of knowing him, he didn't bring a gift! Not that the materialism is important - but the act of giving and receiving was denied, on a day reserved for that. So now do I look at this person, and analyze - well I know it's not a financial reason, so then what would it be? Normally - regardless of his actions I'd buy him a gift on his birthday just to experience the act of giving. However, now being married - questions of abundance come to mind. So do I stay with this feeling of lack, this feeling of disappointment, that if left unchecked could lead to resentment? No... so I apply the concepts and here are my results.

I am not upset at my friend for the reason I think.
I am not depressed about my friend for the reason I think.
I am not afraid of judgement for the reason I think.
There are no small disturbances to my peace of mind, this is one of them and they are all equal.

Intellectually, and I realize that on some level it is permeating my belief system, but I have yet to move from knowing these concepts to experiencing them fully. I can apply this exercise on an intellectual level, but I am not sure how well it helps to resolve my emotional disturbances. I will continue with it, and keep you posted.

Regards,

Robert

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